A Long and Winding Road

 

** Restarting the Crawford Blog, after many years of lying dormant, to try and document over the next months what we have called in our email updates to friends and supporters our “Next Adventure”. That is to say, this lived experience with skin cancer and its treatment. An experience, that carries with it the personal knowledge of a good God, who holds everything in His hand, who knows where He is taking us, and who has much to teach us through it. **

………          

Tuesday, this week, was a down day.

I suspect there will be many more of these to come

And it is not so much because of physical pain or sickness.

Rather it is the overwhelming emotion of being on the brink of a journey I have not chosen.

It was a day of looking down a long and winding road to an undetermined destination. 

Sort of when you come to the brink of something … something you have been prepared for … something in which you are convinced, even now, that God is in full control

But at that moment you are filled with doubts and uncertainties.

The “what if..” questions crowd your mind, and you feel yourself slipping before you have even started.

 

And so I take my stand with the good Shepherd.

Even when my way takes me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death..

And remember that it is but a ‘shadow’ of death - not the real thing - a mere whisper, an imagined threat, of mortality

And there I find, a table set for me in that wilderness place.

A place of feasting, and even partial understanding of what’s ahead.

A cup that overflows with blessing.

And the balm of healing oil anointing my head.

And the overpowering knowledge that

His Presence goes with us, and He will give us rest.

Today, we are on the train to Belfast, for the initial consultation with the doctors on my case

Tomorrow will be my first treatment...